The Bragger games
by Gaze Storming
Summary: This is not maximum ride related but it's still a good story. so please read
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

There was a land called Narcissus,

Where every person would insist,

They were the best in every way,

Regardless of what others say.

And every year they held a game,

"The Braggers Challenge" was its name,

the object was to be the best,

and put your rival to the test.

The more you brag best you score,

Just brag about how you have more.

But in this town there lived a man,

Not like the others in this land,

He never bragged, not even once,

Some people called poor Joe dunce,

Yes, Joe's the hero of this tale,

His hair was blond, his skin was pale,

He was not rich he was not poor,

He only owned his father's store,

One day while working at the store,

He heard a banging on his door,

"Open up! Police! I know you're in there!" he heard someone bark.

"Uh, it's a store, Bill, you can just walk in, I'm open," Joe said.

"Oh…_right_ ," he said.

And then the door was pushed aside,

As Bill, still shouting, burst inside,

"Joe Swallow, you are here by being arrested for crimes of being an average!" he announced booming.

"Come again," Average Joe said, confused.

"You've yet to have successfully defeated an opponent in the braggers challenge; correct?" Bill interrogated.

"Well I guess not, yeah that's right," Joe said slowly.

"The law states that any citizen who fails to overcome their opponent, after two years of participating in the Braggers Challenge, at least once, will be arrested and sentenced to death!" he said never lowering his voice.

"Death?" Joe gasped in capable of any thing else to say.

"Yes, death," Bill said, his voice calm now, almost sorry.

"Bill, you can't do this to me!" Joe protested.

"That's _Officer_ Bill to _you_, Buddy!" he corrected.

"I've known you since I was a kid, you can't be serious," Joe said, his voice softer now.

"If I just over look this how do you think it's going to affect _me_, or my _family_. I'm sorry, but you know they come first," he said, his voice was sympathetic.

"Yes I understand," Joe said, calmly, in a sad tone.

Joe grimaced and with his balled fist,

He pound the counter in a fit.

"That's not good enough! There's got to be something I can do to avoid this! It isn't fair!" he screamed.

"Joe, the only thing that can save you now is if you beat the king at the braggers challenge…and you and I both know that it will _never_ happen," he reminded him.

When it came to the bragging test,

There was no doubt, the King was best,

The King would brag of lots of stuff,

If being king wasn't enough

He could not ever once be beat,

He'd kill you if you if you tried to cheat,

Joe laid his head down on his hand,

The stress was just too much to stand.

I'm really sorry," he said, exciting the front door Bill, "Maybe you'll get lucky."

He heard the door close, "Poor Joe," he heard an odd voice say, he lifted hi head up. "Poor, stupid, gutless, naïve, Joe." The man was far from normal, with patches on his skin, and his wrinkled features.

"Who are you?" Joe asked.

"My name is Rumplepiltskin. No, wait, _dang it,_ I wasn't supposed to tell you that!" he screamed.

"Can I help you?" he asked the man confused.

"Oh no, Joe, the question is 'can _I_ help _you_?'" he corrected.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means I'm here to make a deal." he grinned. They eyed each other.

"Fine, I'm listening," Joe said crossing his arms.

"That's what I like to hear!" the man grinned clutching the air.

"So what's the deal?" he asked.

"Well, it's like this, you see, I have a daughter perhaps a year younger than yourself. And although some may not see it, She is the most beautiful girl in all of the world," he said with a half-hearted smile. "Although for some reason, my wife and I just can't find the right husband for her," he sighed. "But, that's where _you_ come in, see," he said, his voice animated again, "You my boy are the lucky man who will take my daughter's hand in marriage," he concluded.

"Alright then," Joe said shrugging.

"Great! Whoa! Hold it, hang on, that's it? You'll just say yes like that?" the man studdered.

"Sure," he said shrugging again.

"You haven't even _met_ the girl!"

"Well, I mean, if it means I wont face execution, then well anything goes."

"Jeez, what kind of hero _are_ you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Joe demanded

"Don't you know anything? You are _supposed_ to be freaked and beg for another deal! _I am forcing you to get married_!" he told him. Joe only blinked.

"In sickness or in health…," he said with his teeth clenched. Joe blinked again.

"'til death do you part…," he said; blink.

"Well if you're alright with wedding a complete stranger and it doesn't _bother _you…," another blink.

He sighed, "…then I guess we have a deal," he said irritated.

"Hold it this _is_ going to get me out of an execution right?

"Yeah, sure, sure, no execution and life's back to sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and gender confused boy bands, all that god stuff," he pulled his hood over his head and opened the door for himself, "She'll be here tomorrow morning. Oh, and take care of my little girl, _Son_." And just like that he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

That night the rain jus wouldn't stop,

And lightning struck on his roof top,

Joe stayed on guard the whole night through,

His eyes like hawks as tention grew.

That's when he heard the knocking door,

Yes, she was here at the goods store,

"It's me… uh" he heard a voice say.

"Uh…coming" he called.

He walked there slowly, breathed some air,

Then turned the knob, and who was there?

There standing was a scary thing,

Just looking at it there would sting,

"Gah!" Joe screamed, in voluntarily.

"Are you Joe Swallow?" she asked irritated.

He looked down and said yes, "My name Alice, my father sent me here" she said.

"Ahem, right" Joe coughed to compose himself. In the warmest smile he could assemble, he said, "It's very nice to meet you Alice. Please, come in."

She did, "This is a very nice store you have," she commented.

"Thank you" he said.

He lead her to the dining room,

A place as dull as an old broom,

They said nothing, it was awkward,

They didn't say a single word,

"So…" Joe said.

"So…"said Alice

"Uh… so I guess you're going to want to go dress shopping tomorrow," he said like a question.

"Oh, no, it's alright, you don't need to get me something expensive, unless you mind a casual bride," she assured.

"Well… okay then," he said.

"So, I'll uh, I'll show you your room," he said giving her the warm smile.

"Alright," she said standing up.

Then, after touring the small house,

Joe said good night to his new spouse,

The next day when Joe saw the light,

Something he smelled gave him a fright,

He dressed quickly rushing down stairs,

While dodging all the kitchen chairs

"Don't call 911, the toast, just burned, that's all," Alice said smiling.

There she was cooking, this and that,

Toast, Eggs, and bacon, plates they sat,

"What's all this?" Joe asked.

"I'm doing this as an apology gesture," she said,

"Huh?" he asked.

"For my dad forcing you to marry me, it isn't fair," she said.

"Don't be sorry, _I_ had a choice of whether I wanted this or not, you didn't" he said.

She smiled and said, "Well, it's not like I would've gotten married any other way, no one knows what I look like. I wish at least _you_ did." They sat down to eat.

"Of course I know what you look like, I'm looking right at you," he said.

"You _are _looking at me, but you're not seeing me. Maybe one day you'll be able to see me, like my parents can," she said.

Joe, still confused of what she said,

Spoke of the plan today instead,

"We'll go to the courthouse, get a marriage certificate and that'll be it. Then, I guess your father will explain, from there," he said.

"Alright," she said, finishing her food.

Then they were off and tied the knot,

Yes, it was just as Joe had thought,

And everyone stared at his bride,

So odd, and strange on either side,

"I knew you needed to find yourself a wife but really…you couldn't have picked someone a little more…not Tim Burton?" The Preacher asked Joe, he gave him a look and ignored him.

"Let's go," he said to Alice.

"Not so fast, Sonny boy," he heard a voice say.

And there he was, that little man,

That toothy grin, those boney hands,

"You didn't think I would miss this did you?" he asked, taking Alice's hand.

"Yeah, yeah, I married her, now keep your end of the bargain," Joe said.

"I already have," he grinned.

"You haven't done anything!" Joe said.

"Well, no, but you have, and maybe, if you play your cards right, you'll live. Well, I have business to attend to, congrats to the love birds, chao," he said.

"Wait, you can't do that!" Joe said.

"Watch," he said, and he was gone.

"None of this makes any sense!" he groaned.

"We can talk about it at you're house, come on," Alice said.

They got home and with a heavy sigh,

Joe knew that he was sure to die,

"What does he mean I've already done something?" Joe said.

"I don't know," she said.

"…and the Braggers Challenge is at noon today. What am I going to do?" he moaned

"You can brag about anything right?" Alice asked, "Who are you facing first?"

"Yes, but every year, the first one I'm to challenge is Lastette Richardson. His father practically owns the docks, because he owns more than half of the ships that come to port," he said.

"And…?" Alice urged him to continue.

"And I work in a grocery store, there's no way I could beat him," he clarified.

"You can and you will," she assured.

"What," he asked confused.

"My mother always taught me that the most valuable treasure there is, is skill, not material objects, or money; unless of course you don't have healthcare in which case money is pretty important," she said.

"What does that have to do with me?" he asked.

"You own a shop; that means you can read and write can't you? And you can do math, most people can't do any of those things," she pointed out.

"You're right, I can, but he's rich, I'm sure his father can afford a proper education for him," he said.

"But you have the talents of a shop keeper; you know how to arrange the good so that it catches the customer's eye, that's something I know he can't do," she told him.

"But he doesn't need that; he's got money!"

Then Alice rose with irritation,

"I came all the way over here to help a perfect stranger whose life is in danger. But all I see him doing is giving up, and that's not something I'm going to allow while I'm around!" she told him

"Okay, well, what'll be my arguments?" he asked.

"You leave that to me," she said.

Then noon had come and there they were,

Lastette was gloating many words,

"You ready to lose again Old Average Joe?" he asked.

"Well, you must be Lastette," Alice said with a cheery grin, "Joe's told me all about you, how, you beat him every year at the Challenge. But then I realized that he's the only one you've _ever _beaten. So all you can really amount to is beating one guy at the challenge every year? That's tough, what's worse is that he's an _average_. Well I guess that makes you pretty pathetic, doesn't it?" she concluded.

Lastette stood there, just being dazed,

But more than that he was amazed.

"Hm," she said, her arms folded across her chest, and walked away.

Then the bell rung and they began,

To see who was the better man.

"My father owns 13 ships, each were shipped from islands around the world, carved by hand by the natives. His ships come and go when ever they please, and every week we dine on one while we sale, at night. My father brings food from various countries, and without him, we wouldn't have the fresh fruit and cargo we have in this land," he concluded receiving a point.

"You know Lastette you are a good bragger, I won't deny it, but every year you talk about what Daddy has and what Daddy, does for the kingdom. I want to know about you. What do you have, that your Father didn't buy for you? How are you an asset to this land? I'd like to here some things you've done." He said with a smirk

"Well…I…I've…helped my father," he studdered.

"And how is that?" he asked.

"One day he bought a new ship and he asked me what he should name it, and he ended up naming it after me," he said.

"My _hero_… Yes, where would we be if he hadn't done that?" Joe asked, getting a point.

"Well, what do _you_ know? You live in a small tacky grocery store, and can't even win a single Braggers Challenge match, I've won, each of them," he said getting another point.

"Well, all I know is that without me, people would be dieing on the streets if I hadn't thrown out all of you're Daddy's "fresh fruit" which by the way, half of which are rotten, and covered with foreign insects. That is more than _you'll_ ever do," he said, receiving a point.

"Are you calling my father a fraud?" he asked.

"No, I'm calling you one, since really you've never actually won a Challenge truthfully, you always try to brag about your father since you can't do anything of real value. But I'm not like you; I may not have ever beaten you at this game, but at least _I_ play by the rules," he ended with a grin getting a third point.

"That's three!" cried the ref, "Jeez, I never thought I'd say this…but…Average Joe Swallow wins this match!" he said holding up Joe's hand.

"No! He cheated! He didn't beat me just like that!" Lastette protested.

They all cheered loud and screamed with joy,

They all clapped for the average boy,

Then Alice smiled and gave a wink,

She knew now that the guy could think,

"Congrats," she smiled.

"Thanks, I couldn't have won without your help," he said.

"I know," she said flipping her hair, "Dang I'm good."

That night she taught him, things she knew,

Like strategies and comebacks too,

She showed him tricks she learned from mom,

To beat the foe and to stay calm,

The next day came the second match,

He was surprised at this new catch,

"Old Average Joe, you'll be going against Agnes Hathaway," said the instructor.

"But she's much higher ranked than half the people in Narcissus," he said, "is there a mistake?"

"No mistake, Buddy," Bill said throwing his arm around him, "News of your last match against Lastette, spread through the town like wild fire; with a little help from yours truly!" he added.

"You idiot, how am I supposed to beat one of the best braggers in the land?" Joe lectured.

"I just thought I'd speed things up so you can go one on one with the king faster," he said quietly.

"I'm not ready for that!" he said.

"You are," said Alice, "trust me. Just keep a sharp mind, and stay on your toes. Be clever, and after that, it's cake," she said.

And then when the bell rung to start,

He saw that Agnes would be smart,

She curtsied, "It's a pleasure to meet you Average Joe, congratulations on making it this far," she said smiling.

He bowed, "Thank you, I'm glad to have the chance to challenge someone of your rank," he said, returning the smile.

"I just showed you my greatest courtesy, as a lady should," she said getting the first point.

Joe's eyes widened, _that was fast_, he thought. "Well… I just bowed and returned my courtesy, as a gentleman should," he pointed out also getting a point.

She pouted, "The Braggers Challenge is very fun, I've been in this rank since only my second year of competing," she said matter-of-factly; adding a point

"And in one night I've moved up all the way to your rank," he said with a smug smile; adding a point to his board.

"Well, that's nothing special, you're only here because, it's the first time you've ever beaten a challenger," she said.

"Well, I'm sure moving up seventy ranks and still being able to tie with the opponent during the first five minutes of the match wouldn't be anything special at all," he concluded earning his last point.

"That's it!" cried the ref, "That's game! Average Joe Swallow, wins again!"

* * *

**AND THAT IS ALL THAT WILL BE WRITEN FOR THIS STORY. I'M SORRY THIS IS THE END, LEAVE COMMENTS ON WHAT YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN, WOULD JOE LIVE ? OR DIE?**


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